Friday, April 9, 2010

Dangerous Words

When I was a young mother, I learned that it was tempting fate to utter the words, "No child of mine will ever..." because it was almost guaranteed that the child would whatever it was. Now I am learning that it is just as tempting to fate to say the words, "When I am old I will never..." I used to listen to my elders talking about their various ailments and doctors and I thought to myself "I will never sit around talking about my latest bodily malfunction." Well, I had no idea that falling apart really consumes a lot of your mental energy and time and that one spends so much time, thought, and effort in trying to figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. I will spare you the details of my 4 month GI adventure involving a trip to the ER, a colonoscopy, various over the counter medications, and an on-going relationship with the GI doc's nurse, Linda. I think in a previous life Linda was a defensive lineman for the Packers because absolutely nothing gets past Linda--you want to talk to the doc--you have to get past Linda, you want a prescription--Linda again. Anyway, I was so miserable Tuesday night I googled my symptoms and ouila, there it was: symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. Since Wednesday morning I have been skirmishing with Linda for a prescription, I have met all her requirements but so far she has not deigned it necessary to call me back. However, in researching this on the Internet, I found that probiotics were helpful so yesterday I started on Phillips Colon Health capsules twice a day. I am amazed--it has relieved my symptoms by about 80%. I still want the prescription but at least I am not so miserable while I dance to Linda's tune. Life is looking better.


tamara said...

Trust me, you are one of the least complaining people who I have ever known, so don't feel bad about sharing. Second, I want to strangle Linda on your behalf. Third, is there any way you can move your GI appointment up so that you can deal directly with the doctor instead of the self-appointed defensive lineman?
Love you

Grace. said...

OMIGOD! I so know what you mean. My best friend, who is a couple of years older than me, and I marvel at how much of our conversation centers on our health issues. I am turning into my own mother!

BTW, my doctor responds much faster and more completely to e-mails. Would that get you past the formidable Linda?