Dangerous Words

When I was a young mother, I learned that it was tempting fate to utter the words, "No child of mine will ever..." because it was almost guaranteed that the child would whatever it was. Now I am learning that it is just as tempting to fate to say the words, "When I am old I will never..." I used to listen to my elders talking about their various ailments and doctors and I thought to myself "I will never sit around talking about my latest bodily malfunction." Well, I had no idea that falling apart really consumes a lot of your mental energy and time and that one spends so much time, thought, and effort in trying to figure out what is wrong and how to fix it. I will spare you the details of my 4 month GI adventure involving a trip to the ER, a colonoscopy, various over the counter medications, and an on-going relationship with the GI doc's nurse, Linda. I think in a previous life Linda was a defensive lineman for the Packers because absolutely nothing gets past Linda--you want to talk to the doc--you have to get past Linda, you want a prescription--Linda again. Anyway, I was so miserable Tuesday night I googled my symptoms and ouila, there it was: symptoms, diagnosis, and treatment. Since Wednesday morning I have been skirmishing with Linda for a prescription, I have met all her requirements but so far she has not deigned it necessary to call me back. However, in researching this on the Internet, I found that probiotics were helpful so yesterday I started on Phillips Colon Health capsules twice a day. I am amazed--it has relieved my symptoms by about 80%. I still want the prescription but at least I am not so miserable while I dance to Linda's tune. Life is looking better.